“Leaving My Father’s House”

Healing the Patriarchal/Father Wound

Workshop Learning:

        • This workshop offers a woman the opportunity to face and transform unresolved & incomplete issues related to Father, by working with experienced and compassionate male facilitators.
        • This work is open to any woman who truly desires to be in relationship to men in a new way:  emotionally honest, clear, powerful, compassionate, fearless.
        • This work will challenge you and the reward is enormous.  Work is done through meditations, music, visualizations, journaling, group discussions, and experiential processes, including individual process work.
        • The intended outcome of this workshop is that a woman becomes more aware, empowered, and conscious of how she relates to men, boys, and the masculine.

Women In Power:

        • Women are now in leadership … in education, work, and the healing consciousness of our time.
        • Neither women nor men know how to navigate the new terrain.
        • Women still fear challenging the “status quo” of male power.
        • Women often achieve success by emulating the lesser qualities of men in power, those very qualities which they abhor.
        • The “message of the patriarchy” is passed down through the voice of the Mother.
        • Men will not give women power, women must claim it.
        • It is the VOICE of … girls, women, mothers, grandmothers … that will save Mother Earth.

Workshop Description:

You will have the opportunity to share yourself … your pain, your frustration, your joy & sorrow, your confusion … with other women in your common relationships with men.

In this workshop, you will learn the necessary self-knowledge skills:

      • Body-centered Emotional Literacy (to know what you feel)
      • Understand the parts of you that you know (your Light) and the  parts of you that you do not know (your Shadows)
      • Understand yourself with men
      • Understand Fathering Patterns
      • “Unmasking” your real beauty
      • Learn what and how you project onto men
      • Process your Father Wound
      • Integrate your own feminine AND masculine qualities
      • Find the clear & fearless language to engage men in a new way


      • Be the woman that you truly are, trusting yourself & your process
      • See yourself, and men, with new eyes
      • Walk in the world with BOTH fierce power AND tender vulnerability
      • Be a better woman … leader, partner, wife, mother, friend, citizen


      • The Earth is alive with transformational energy from the Feminine.
      • The Old Masculine no longer works.
      • Holding onto old gender pain and judgment damages the body, soul, spirit.
      • Women have a new voice … of Truth, Love, Fierceness, Tenderness … and it needs to be heard.
      • The world needs your heart, strength, courage, truth.
      • The people you care about need your love & truth.
      • You are important and worth this investment.
      • It is time for women of strength & courage to speak fearlessly.
      • It is time for women to gather, speak, act… in praise of the Feminine, in ALL things on this Earth.

My Commitments:

      • I have great love, compassion, and fierce dedication to truth.
      • I live a Sacred Marriage with My Beloved.
      • I have 45 years in this Work.
      • I have been leading healing circles for 30 years.
      • I am a husband, father, leader, friend, ally, citizen.
      • I am accountable, I have integrity, I work hard for those I serve.
      • I have dedicated my life’s purpose to this healing process.
      • I am balanced in the Masculine & Feminine.
      • I am very good at what I do, and I am so very human.
      • My Mission is the awaken the Sacred Feminine & Sacred Masculine in all beings.

The Back Story:

In 1993, I read a book by Marion Woodman, a Jungian analyst from Toronto entitled “Leaving My Father’s House”. It focused on 3 women who come to terms with their own deep feminine by healing their issues with the patriarchy. The book moved me deeply, and I realized that my own gender healing could not be complete until I could come to terms with the patriarchal voice that lives within me. Having come from a tough, working class, homophobic environment and upbringing, I knew that “leaving my father’s house” was my own personal work.

In 1998, I found myself in pursuit of a deeper understanding of the Sacred Feminine. I found that although our men’s circles, which I had been in since 1986, did extraordinary work on Father issues, it did very little around Mother issues.  And unless a man does BOTH his father AND mother work, he will continue to struggle in his intimate relationships.  I believe the same is true for women.

I traveled to the Arizona desert and did a vision quest. After 3 days, I was blessed with a visitation: SHE showed me many things about women and the true nature of the dance between men and women. I returned home, intent on creating a body of work to further my own deep healing. I asked a number of men if they would be interested in participating in this work with me. Only 1 man, my dear friend Jim Coleman, said yes.

Together, we began to write and design a program for women … to help them heal their issues with men, boys, and the masculine … through examining their relationship with Father, both Personal and Patriarchal. We consulted our wives, we talked to many women, we held focus groups, we dared to ask women if we men had the right to offer this work.  Do women need this for their healing, would they be willing to trust men they did not know with the deep and painful parts of their early experiences?  The overwhelming majority of the women said yes, women need this, and they will come.  My vision quest was bearing some fruit.

The result was the first iteration of this workshop, and naturally we called it “Leaving My Father’s House”. Quite synchronistically, Marion Woodman came to town on a speaking tour for her new book.  She had been traveling with Robert Bly, talking about the Sacred Dance of Masculine and Feminine.   I took the opportunity to visit with her and share the work that we were doing. A deep and most gracious lady … she gave me her blessing. I knew that this calling was right on target.

We offered our first workshop in San Diego in October of 1998.  Jim and I continued to talk to women, asking for feedback on how to improve the work we were doing.  We continued to challenge our assumptions about women, about the trajectory of the work, about the context and processes we were offering.  We knew we were novices, thrust into this crucible, and we had a sharp and unsettling learning curve.  Yet we trusted and persevered, and have presented over 30 LMFH workshops, all over the US.

I am so very grateful to the women who trusted me, for indeed they could sense that I was sincerely in pursuit of a larger planetary healing for all men and women.  Our wives were in full support of the work, and my gratitude to my Beloved Blanca is enormous. I could never have done the healing … for myself, for us, and for others … without her love and blessing and trust. I have been privileged to midwife many women into a new power that consciously challenges them, the men in their lives, and the patriarchy that lives in all of us. And I have learned so much about my own inner feminine.

Today, women … especially women in the workplace … may indeed be the true warriors of our time. Their struggle is immense, the seduction of masculine power is compelling, the pressure to retain the status quo enormous. The very qualities that women despise in men are often those qualities that establish a woman’s success.  The responsibility of this kind of new leadership is enormous.

A woman’s power is different from a man’s.  Whereas men’s power is usually either cerebral or gut centered, a woman’s power comes from her heart and the deep space in the core of her body.  For a powerful woman to retain her heartfulness, to honor the deep wisdom within her, to carry and articulate the Sacred Feminine values in the death throes of the Patriarchy, will take great courage.  Truly, the Patriarchy takes no prisoners, men and women alike.

So, please come & join me, with other women … to liberate your voice and power, to fearlessly confront the hidden patriarchal/masculine voice that sabotages and renders you …and ALL OF US … feeling less than.  And ultimately, to find your own true feminine authenticity and the courage to live from it … in ALL your relationships.