The Benefits of a Mentoring Program for Men

As a man, are you still trying to discover who you are, why you are here, and what it is you are supposed to do? Do the typical definitions of male success leave you unfulfilled? Do these questions, and ones like these that you often ask yourself in the middle of the night, leave an ache deep inside? As discomforting as this may be, it is not uncommon. Especially for men who are approaching middle age … men in their late 20’s, 30’s, early 40’s. There is nothing wrong with you, for this is more a function of a… Read more »

Moving Beyond Patriarchy

We have come far in the last 50 years … technological explosion, advancement of women and minorities, global diversity awareness, economic growth for 2nd and 3rd world nations, Yet the American workplace still operates under the old patriarchal values. Patriarchy is not about gender. It is a set of beliefs, attitudes, and practices that affect both men and women. It is the masculine principle gone astray. We see it in the corporate structures across the world, where decisions and interactions are aggressive, power seeking, defensive, hierarchical, homophobic, misogynistic, racist, competitive, and emotionally disconnected from people and from the earth.… Read more »

Men and Pink

On Saturday, I marched with my wife and the women of San Miguel, with pink hats galore. Women’s Right = Human Rights the banner said … like we have to even say what is so horrifically obvious. It felt like the 60’s again, and I was energized being on the lines. The women sang the old anthem “We Shall Overcome”, the last word being ‘someday’. Well how about ‘today’, or will we keep imagining that someday women will have human rights, or blacks or browns or reds will have human rights? Do we keep imagining that ‘he’ or ‘they’… Read more »

Teaching my Women’s Coaching Workshop

In my Women’s Coaching Workshop, “Leaving My Father’s House: Healing the Patriarchal/Father Wound,” I sometimes receive the question, “Why teach this now?” My answer is that now, more than ever, the earth is alive with transformational energy from the feminine. The old masculine no longer works. Holding onto old gender pain and judgment damages the body, soul, spirit. Women have a new voice: truth, love, fierceness, tenderness. And it needs to be heard. To women, I say The world needs your heart, strength, courage, and truth. The people you care about need your love & truth. You are important and worth this… Read more »

Insights from Couples Coaching Work

Over the years in my Couples Coaching work it has been my pleasure to witness many marvelous relationship transformations. I recently began compiling a list of the insights I’ve seen arise in my couples counseling sessions. Insights from Couples Coaching Work Realize that you are both suffering The necessity of a safe container to tell the truth Listening and speaking (2 ears and 1 mouth) Releasing the need to be right and embracing the desire to be close Empowering your voice from your truth, clarity, & heart The difference between power and force The principles of vulnerability & accountability… Read more »

The Story Behind my Workshop, “Leaving my Father’s House”

For the past 19+ years, I have facilitated over 30 women’s coaching workshops called “Leaving my Father’s House.” Here is the original inspiration for this teaching. Healing Wounds from the Patriarchy In 1993, I read a book by Marion Woodman, a Jungian analyst from Toronto entitled “Leaving My Father’s House”. It focused on 3 women who come to terms with their own deep feminine by healing their issues with the patriarchy. The book moved me deeply, and I realized that my own gender healing could not be complete until I could come to terms with the patriarchal voice that… Read more »

Understanding Emotional Literacy

In my work with with men, women, and couples  over the past three decades, I have refined my toolset to offer the best practices possible for each person’s personal development. One of the most valuable tools is a deep embodiment of Emotional Literacy. “Emotional literacy is made up of ‘the ability to understand your emotions, the ability to listen to others and empathize with their emotions, and the ability to express emotions productively.” Source In my teaching, Emotional Literacy creates an interior alignment of the head-heart-gut-sex. It is a congruence of thinking-feeling-words, and actions. Increasing emotional intelligence or literacy empowers you to… Read more »

My Commitments to my Clients

In my coaching practice with men, women, and couples, I feel the importance of sharing my commitments for our work together. My Commitments I have great love, compassion, and a fierce dedication to truth. I live a sacred marriage with my beloved. I have 45 years in this work. I have been leading healing circles for 30 years. I am a husband, father, leader, friend, ally, and citizen. I am accountable, I have integrity, I work hard for those I serve. I have dedicated my life’s purpose to this healing process. I am balanced in the Sacred Masculine &… Read more »

The Sacred Masculine

As I teach about the sacred masculine in my men’s coaching programs, I’ve discovered that different people have different definitions of the sacred masculine. To Me, the Deep, Sacred Masculine is: The vertical axis, the sun & sky, grounded in the earth It is stable, unwavering, and fiercely present It is the good father, dependable friend, protector, and provider It is the seed, the tree, the rocks, and the center pole It is the initiator, the action, the doing It is clear, direct, hard, penetrative, boundaried It is a container, an arrow, a hammer, a plow, and a sword… Read more »

The OLD Masculine vs. the NEW Masculine

In my men’s coaching work, I often begin with definitions of masculinity. What does it mean to be a man? There are old, outmoded definitions, and there is the new masculine which is sacred masculinity. The OLD Masculine A man who instinctively feel in competition with other men. A man who is in touch with his power, but does not know his feeling nature. A man who is in touch with his feeling nature, but does not know or trust his power. A man who does not have intimate access to BOTH his fierceness AND his tenderness. A man… Read more »