Return of Initiation

What a marvelous conversation, I thank each of you for your thoughts & wisdom. I have had the privilege of watching the network evolve through considerable time, and as such, I will continue to bring that historical perspective to our conversations. What began as an idea from Bill Kauth for a workshop for men, and the initial spiritual awakening that this engendered, has now spread across the globe. Kauth, Tosi, & Hering did not know that this was perhaps a divinely inspired resurrection, nor that it would reclaim male initiation for our time. What they saw was that men… Read more »

Millennials Today

Having 2 millennial sons, I see some of what Simon Sinek describes. And I also see them as hard-working, not entitled, with manners, and good social skills. While my beloved and I surely made our fair share of mistakes, we were both kind of old-school in our parenting. Especially me, as I was in my late 40’s when our sons were born, and already deep into men’s work. The values of integrity & truth-telling, accountability & follow-through, hard work, even emotional literacy … they learned these from us because we have been practicing them for a very long time.… Read more »

Mother Work in Men

On this Sunday morning before Christmas, listening to the music, I find my heart wide open. I am often sentimental in this season, I have always had a tender heart, many things bring me to tears. This conversation has moved me greatly, and the comments, particularly from the women … thank you Jen Silver & Bethany Cashman … have helped open me to some painful places inside. I was on the NY streets at 6, in a street gang at 9, suffered physical & sexual abuse at home, and it has taken me many years of excruciatingly hard work… Read more »

The Activist Mommy Essay

Wow, a potent voice, and an important perspective. Lots of passion can get in the way, without much sensitivity to the women who are truly victims. But she does blow the whistle on the ‘shadowy victimhood’ that weaves itself through this movement. Maybe that’s inevitable, as everything has its light and shadow. What is important is this: a major root of male abuse of power has been flushed out of the shadows. It is indeed bigger than anyone imagined, but honestly, I am not surprised it is this big. I have worked with men long enough to know the… Read more »

Thank you, Sisters

Jen, Valerie, Kaia, Alexa, Sheri, Bethany, and all the women & men who have been part of this ongoing conversation on our ‘themenschool’ page here. First, I THANK all the women here, who have weighed in on such a painful, complex, &  terrifying topic, and done so with fierceness, clarity, passion, intelligence & grace. You have modeled for our community how to truly stand in love & truth. I am grateful & humbled. I want to say this directly: I hear you, I hear & honor your perspectives, I hear your anger, I hear your outrage, I hear your… Read more »

Men’s Initiation

The ancient ones knew that both boys and girls needed an initiatory rite of passage to consciously transition to manhood and womanhood, so that they could take their rightful place in the tribe or village. One of the important learnings for the boys was how to treat women with respect, how to be good to the earth (mother), and how to use his sexual body in a good way. Our postmodern culture has been void of this essential rite for many hundreds of years. The result of this is that uninitiated and unconscious men/boys have claimed positions of power… Read more »

From Hunt to Hearth

From Hunt to Hearth: A Man’s Challenging Journey In the archetypal realm, a man enters the world to do battle, conquer foes, create fame & fortune (or misfortune), and bring back the resources to support the family, tribe, community. He wears armor, wields his sword, and protects what is his. So as archetypes act through us, men still do this, as does more and more women. (Welcome to our world, ladies.) From 8 to 5, men are out there doing battle, not necessarily with life-threatening foes, but with a vertical hierarchical picture that there is only one winner, and… Read more »

The Benefits of a Mentoring Program for Men

As a man, are you still trying to discover who you are, why you are here, and what it is you are supposed to do? Do the typical definitions of male success leave you unfulfilled? Do these questions, and ones like these that you often ask yourself in the middle of the night, leave an ache deep inside? As discomforting as this may be, it is not uncommon. Especially for men who are approaching middle age … men in their late 20’s, 30’s, early 40’s. There is nothing wrong with you, for this is more a function of a… Read more »

Moving Beyond Patriarchy

We have come far in the last 50 years … technological explosion, advancement of women and minorities, global diversity awareness, economic growth for 2nd and 3rd world nations, Yet the American workplace still operates under the old patriarchal values. Patriarchy is not about gender. It is a set of beliefs, attitudes, and practices that affect both men and women. It is the masculine principle gone astray. We see it in the corporate structures across the world, where decisions and interactions are aggressive, power seeking, defensive, hierarchical, homophobic, misogynistic, racist, competitive, and emotionally disconnected from people and from the earth.… Read more »

Men and Pink

On Saturday, I marched with my wife and the women of San Miguel, with pink hats galore. Women’s Right = Human Rights the banner said … like we have to even say what is so horrifically obvious. It felt like the 60’s again, and I was energized being on the lines. The women sang the old anthem “We Shall Overcome”, the last word being ‘someday’. Well how about ‘today’, or will we keep imagining that someday women will have human rights, or blacks or browns or reds will have human rights? Do we keep imagining that ‘he’ or ‘they’… Read more »