Author: Dene

S/HE Dream

While this writing is personal, I also sense its potential value to our ongoing gender conversations. Take what is useful, leave the rest. My primary inner work, for all of my life, is the discovery of the Sacred Masculine & Feminine within my everyday, and how S/HE informs the work I have been called to do in the world. I learned that it unwise to do one without the other, for indeed I am both in my soul, where each gifts me and each asks something from me. I use the cross as the sacred symbol to represent this… Read more »

Deep Integration of Masculine & Feminine

While this writing is personal, I also sense its potential value to our ongoing gender conversations. Take what is useful, leave the rest. My primary inner work, for all of my life, is the discovery of the Sacred Masculine & Feminine within my everyday, and how S/HE informs the work I have been called to do in the world. I learned that it unwise to do one without the other, for indeed I am both in my soul, where each gifts me and each asks something from me. I use the cross as the sacred symbol to represent this… Read more »

Commentary on Jordan Peterson

FB Comment of the day: 03.24.18 Dene Maria Sebastiana: “Benjamin: Thank you for your clarifications of Jordan Peterson’s work, I appreciate both him and you. I too am very inspired by his clarity and insightfulness, and I use his perspective as a kinda north star … helps me keep on track and honest with myself. It is interesting to hear the commentaries on the man or the ways he is this or that. I have heard and often said: If Jesus or the Buddha showed up on some street corner in NYC, we would blow their fucking heads off.… Read more »

Return of Initiation

What a marvelous conversation, I thank each of you for your thoughts & wisdom. I have had the privilege of watching the network evolve through considerable time, and as such, I will continue to bring that historical perspective to our conversations. What began as an idea from Bill Kauth for a workshop for men, and the initial spiritual awakening that this engendered, has now spread across the globe. Kauth, Tosi, & Hering did not know that this was perhaps a divinely inspired resurrection, nor that it would reclaim male initiation for our time. What they saw was that men… Read more »

Millennials Today

Having 2 millennial sons, I see some of what Simon Sinek describes. And I also see them as hard-working, not entitled, with manners, and good social skills. While my beloved and I surely made our fair share of mistakes, we were both kind of old-school in our parenting. Especially me, as I was in my late 40’s when our sons were born, and already deep into men’s work. The values of integrity & truth-telling, accountability & follow-through, hard work, even emotional literacy … they learned these from us because we have been practicing them for a very long time.… Read more »

Mother Work in Men

On this Sunday morning before Christmas, listening to the music, I find my heart wide open. I am often sentimental in this season, I have always had a tender heart, many things bring me to tears. This conversation has moved me greatly, and the comments, particularly from the women … thank you Jen Silver & Bethany Cashman … have helped open me to some painful places inside. I was on the NY streets at 6, in a street gang at 9, suffered physical & sexual abuse at home, and it has taken me many years of excruciatingly hard work… Read more »

The Activist Mommy Essay

Wow, a potent voice, and an important perspective. Lots of passion can get in the way, without much sensitivity to the women who are truly victims. But she does blow the whistle on the ‘shadowy victimhood’ that weaves itself through this movement. Maybe that’s inevitable, as everything has its light and shadow. What is important is this: a major root of male abuse of power has been flushed out of the shadows. It is indeed bigger than anyone imagined, but honestly, I am not surprised it is this big. I have worked with men long enough to know the… Read more »

Thank you, Sisters

Jen, Valerie, Kaia, Alexa, Sheri, Bethany, and all the women & men who have been part of this ongoing conversation on our ‘themenschool’ page here. First, I THANK all the women here, who have weighed in on such a painful, complex, &  terrifying topic, and done so with fierceness, clarity, passion, intelligence & grace. You have modeled for our community how to truly stand in love & truth. I am grateful & humbled. I want to say this directly: I hear you, I hear & honor your perspectives, I hear your anger, I hear your outrage, I hear your… Read more »

Men’s Initiation

The ancient ones knew that both boys and girls needed an initiatory rite of passage to consciously transition to manhood and womanhood, so that they could take their rightful place in the tribe or village. One of the important learnings for the boys was how to treat women with respect, how to be good to the earth (mother), and how to use his sexual body in a good way. Our postmodern culture has been void of this essential rite for many hundreds of years. The result of this is that uninitiated and unconscious men/boys have claimed positions of power… Read more »

From Hunt to Hearth

From Hunt to Hearth: A Man’s Challenging Journey In the archetypal realm, a man enters the world to do battle, conquer foes, create fame & fortune (or misfortune), and bring back the resources to support the family, tribe, community. He wears armor, wields his sword, and protects what is his. So as archetypes act through us, men still do this, as does more and more women. (Welcome to our world, ladies.) From 8 to 5, men are out there doing battle, not necessarily with life-threatening foes, but with a vertical hierarchical picture that there is only one winner, and… Read more »